Breakthrough. Of sorts

A breakthrough. Sorta. But no matter how small, these things need to be celebrated.
Celebrate the good. Never dwell on the bad.
I’m trying to learn this but it is taking time.

There are many things in my life I am unhappy with. Some elicit stronger feeling from me than others. Some are higher up the list of things I want to change. Something’s I can not change but yet still worry about.
Unfortunately, I’m a damn good procrastinator.

These last few days haven’t been great.
As well as a breakthrough there has been a break.
Easter Friday I fell off my mountain bike. Collarbone. Clavicle. Hurts like hell. Quick trip to a&e leaves everyone a little confused. Its not obviously broken. Everyone’s best guess is I have cracked it in the same place I snapped it 10 months ago.
Great. Lots of pain. More time of work. More sitting around with my own thoughts.
Today I let things get to me. I’ve been grumpy all day. Snappy. Bored of everything. Absent minded when talking to people.
After crying and reading a few Tiny Buddha blog posts and chatting to The Girl I am feeling better able to cope with my day.

One day at a time.

So the breakthrough.
I am meant to be going out tonight for a leaving meal and drinks.
I’m not a social animal at the best of times and today is not a good day.
Yet I feel able to go. I am feeling up for it. I’m not looking forward to it. But I am not going to hide in my room and ignore the world.

If I am going to change my life for the better.
If I am going to get a job I enjoy.
If I am going to be a happy person, a person someone would want a relationship with, then I have to start somewhere.
So I started with this blog.
Realising something was wrong and that I needed to do something about it.

This is me. Improving myself. Mistakes and failures. Good days and bad.

I’m going to make a real effort to write more often.
It’ll help me. Hopefully it may help others.
I’m going to make a real effort to improve myself.
Babysteps.

“Why do we fall Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up”
Thomas Wayne
Batman Begins